Yesterday, i was at my friend's place and having nothing better to do, we logged onto orkut. Now Saloni is a very pretty girl and reading her scraps always provides a lot of hilarity. {If you are wondering how come i dont belong to her 'fan's' category, its coz once upon a time when we were fourteen years old,after being heavily scolded by her dad, Saloni called me up and between sobs, blurted, "Neer i wish i had a brother". My upbringing till that moment, had insisted that in such moments you are supposed to offer yourself to the girl as her brother, and i did. In a few hours soon realized the gravity of my mistake, but all had been lost. Since that day, we have been 'bhai-behen'. But, i have learnt from my mistakes, and now if some girl says the same lines, my reaction involves looking upwards staring at the ceiling whistling nonchalantly, as if i never heard what she said. Back to the story.
Orkut besides being a social networking site, also gives some dudes an oppurtunity to showcase their talents, put on display their 'sense of humour', compete with each other on who'd come up with the cheesiest lines. This is what a certain Mr Vignesh had to tell my friend,
"i really do not know you . But I want to grow up my friendship cycle . Thats why I had scrapped to you .. If you not interested please ignore and request you not to angry on me …"
Umm 'grow up my friendship cycle'? Is that like some food cycle? Personally, i think he first needs to grow up and no man, we cant be angry on anyone who comes up with such an earnest request ;)
SAMPLE NUMBER 2: This guy was named 'Cool guy' by his parents, or that's what he calls himself on this website. Check out the 'smartness'
"I thot d pizza i had last eve was the hottest thing in world.. your pic have proved me wrong though"
Saloni had to hit me with a plate to stop me from replying, "Whooo i thought the bhindi alu i had last eve was the crappiest thing in the world…your pics have proved me wrong though".
It was at this stage that we decided to come up with the "Most desperate orkutter award". The 2 member selection committe's criterion included "the dumbest about-me section" and other related description categories. So folks, help me decide the winner. These are the nominees …
1) Name :Mr Krishna Shetty.
About me: I am simple, friendly boy. Love to make decent friendship…love to have lots of friends with good mind.
Nero's doubt:Err do you want friends with good minds or do you make friends with a 'good mind' buddy? Pray, temme what a 'good mind' is?
Lol, and if you think im being too harsh on the 'simple' boy, well a bit of super investigation showed that he has joined just two communities -> a) Ganapati bappa Moriya and (b) Namita Lovers
Yup man, u just won the 'simplest person' award. I have a slight suspicion that Ganapati bappa was squirming in that community pic sitting next to the Namita Lovers community.
2) Name: 'Sid-the koolest one'
About me: I love to chat with girls at night. I..
We ran out of his page as fast as we could.
Nero's verdict: Chheeee chheeee chhheee
3) Name: Subrat Sen
About me: cool guy,very emotional,angry with liar, never make any girfriend,girls always wants to make friendship with me
Nero's comment: Yeah man, you are so cooool! Girls would just tear off their hair to catch a glimpse of you. In fact even men wanna be friends with you. The entire human race is craving to make love to you.Please dont ever leave us,we'll die. Sniff!
At this point, Saloni asked the most repeated girlie question "Neer, why are all you guys so lame?". And when i put out my tongue, in a most sophisticated fashion, she snorted "Yeah, and when u dont have an answer thats what you do. Get lost". Well that upset me. Not just the fact that she asked me to get lost which was an infintely difficult task considering that her house is really not that complex, but also coz my 'alpha male chauvinistic ego' had been pricked. "What you blaming guys for, girls are equally despo, just that they cant afford to show it in this hypocritical society". "Oh yeah?" Well we fought for an hour about that, and after i was told that i was a numbskull and she was informed that her brain was as active as a hibernating polar bear's, i went back home in a huff. Half an hour later, as i finished reading Daddy-Long-Legs,i went to my computer,logged onto orkut,went to her scrapbook and typed,
"Hi, im cool boy with simple mind.i had dosa today morning but you are hotter than the sambar that accompanied my meal. Your eyes remind me of the seeds i spat out when i had chutney. Pliss be my decent friend. Jai Ganapati. Yo!"
p.s For all those people, who missed out on the book 'Daddy-long-legs' before they turned 18, read it now. Its beautiful.
