Nero versus the Law

I got up real early today. Eight o clock. For some reason, i was in a real happy mood, and much to the amusement of my roomies, was singing songs loudly while getting ready for office. After dropping Suresh at his stop, i turned towards my office's direction. As i approached Tiruvamiyur signal, from afar i could see a cop, standing on the left side, stopping all the bikers without helmets. I manouvered my bike to the right, and increased the speed but he had already spotted me. Showing amazing reflexes, he managed to cut me off, and though the thought struck me, and i attempted the stunt, my bike really did not lift off into the air and sail over him. Instead, it skidded to a halt right in front of him.

"License, insurance, No Objection Certificate" , he barked after grabbing my key.
"Errr, im not carrying the bike documents with me sir", i told him in my most girlish voice.
"What? Porkhi!!! License illa? "
"No sir, i have my license", i quipped and proceeded to take the magnificent card out of my wallet. As he looked at it, at the passport size picture of a lad, beaming unusally happily at the camera, i wondered if the dimple had the power to make him feel philantropic enough to let me go.

"Two thousand One hundred rupees" He barked. Apparently, it didnt have the power.
But 2100? I looked at my license, to check if i resembled any of those foreigners who visit India …. Well yeah i do sometimes look like a Greek God, but cmon still two thousand one hundred ?

"Err Sir ….. sorry! "
That's the best and only thing i could come up with. Well you cant blame me. "Sorry" has been ingrained into our systems right from when we were born. You do it too, so dont laugh at me. Porkhis!!! {I love that word, learnt it from that fellow}

"No sorry!" Two thousand one hundred rupees or court!
My brain had started processing by now."Please sir, im a student", i told him in the most heart wrenching voice possible.
"Student??!!! Which college?"

I duno why, whenever someone asks me this question in Chennai, the first thing that comes to my mind is Stella Maris {For all the non-chennaiites, Stella is a girls' college in Chennai. Maybe if ya write some nice comments, and ya guys come down sometime, ill take you there. I mean, ill show you its compund walls} Im not sure if he'd have bought the "Stella" thingie, so I racked my brains, trying to think up of some engineering college name. {What's that university? Bama… Bamas.. got it!!!! Bahamas University! But what if he asks me where it is? Gulp!}

"Err sir, IIT"
I swear he laughed. Aloud.
He looked at the license and laughed again. and i just couldnt get why. I mean, okay just coz i never ever topped college, my branch, or my class, not even my row, doesnt mean that i cant pass of for an IIT-ian. I wear specs, people!
"Ooooh IIT", He mocked.
"Yessir, First year". Apparently, im not a good liar. Coz i can swear he almost went "Tch, tch" as if challenging me to come up with something better.
"Sorry sir, please let me go. Ill carry my papers from next time sir", i pleaded. A lot of Cognizant people kept passing by and i hoped they wouldnt see me there. Murphy, obviously wanted to play a bit more with me and just then one of the cutest girls in Cognizant Tidel began to cross Tiruvanmiyur signal. Right when he started hollering.

Now we may not be on talking terms, but the idea of her seeing me being given a dressing down by a cop, sounded far from appealing. So, even though the cop kept on with his rant, i put up a casual face, turned to the other direction and whistled a tune in a non chalant fashion, hoping that she'd think i was just having a friendly conversation with the chappie. Probably about the weather?And as soon as she was out of "spotting" radius, i turned back apologetically towards the cop who now looked like the devil incarnate, disbelief etched on his face, that i had the gall to ignore him and even whistle, while he lectured me on the trafic rules. The invectives graduated from "porkhi" to some other words which we'll just call "beep beep beep" , and i looked on bemused.

There were a lot of other offenders too, riding without helmets and the constable kept lining them up meet this guy, the officer. He looked visibly calmer, after dealing with them {no doubt bulging pockets bringing about this sudden change} and i tried again. Finally he let me go for two hundred bucks, the max i have ever paid a cop.{I remember a cop demanding fifteen hundred once, and me paying a grand total of forty rupees.} Anyway, i have reached tidel now and hopefully the rest of the day will go uneventfully. So have a great day people, and remember to wear your helmets.

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p.s My teammates have just informed me that that University was not "Bahamas" …It was Satyabhama …Hmm if she laughs at me, when i pass by, im gonna go up and tell her that i had stopped by to ask him why potato prices have become so high ;)

p.s 2 Yep, and im ordering you to wear your hemets while driving. {in a lecturing tone}" How would your parents feel if you died in an accident, haan? " … lol, yep you are right, he said that first;)